bob-belcher:

starfleetrambo:

dog: (somewhere in the house) *tap tap tap tap*

me: *calls its name*

dog: *TAPATAPATAPATAPATAPATAP*

gothvriska:

jolene

jolene

jolene

jolene

polixo:

i may be a dumbass but ya know what!!!! i don’t give a shit!!!!! i’m livin that booboo the fool lifestyle!!! i be out here saying all sorts of stupid shit and having a good time ‘cause i already know i’m dumb as fuck so i might as well roll with it!!!

peachesmendes:

“don’t double text”

i will deadass send you ten messages in a row on completely different topics

as the french say, merci goku

herestomybaby:

Me realizing that I have no presence on this hellsite: that’s so sad Alexa play The Outside.

lazyscouts:

someone: how do you feel?

me: thanks for asking I Have No Idea

51don:

yo 2018 slow the fuck down man

sufferjpg:

what words used to be in my vocabulary before ahfjfkdkd, mood, and valid

koobaxion:

koobaxion:

I got like zero sleep and I’m at work trying to act like a human being and I was nearly moved to tears by a stock photo of a sad businessman

he;s so sad

tinas-belcher:

everyone: damn, it sucks that summer is ending

me: 

bourbonbarbells:

I absolutely do not have my ducks in a row. In fact, I don’t even know where they are but if you see them please be kind they have anxiety

shitpostpriest:

you are what you yeet

orcpresident:

any temperature above 70F is homophobic